Confessions

“I’m not “not talking” I’m just not talking.”

  

Been power housing a theology book the last couple nights for hours on end preparing for class this weekend. It’s like I’m floating down a river of heavy thought with my pencil as my ore touching down on the page to keep me directed.

Woke up later than I wanted this morning and as always ask for grace to cover the lack of my full devotional time. It amazes me that on days like this God always gives me more grace than I deserve. I knew it was on when within the first hour of work I had a very powerful conversation with a good friend where tears of pain were shed toward legalistic Christians and then tears of healing and comfort as we prayed. This life sure is amazing.

No work tomorrow, just The Doctrine of Humanity by Charles Sherlock and preparation for a quiz. I can’t wait for Chapel tomorrow night. The services are always fresh yet musically they could use some work. I don’t know if I will ever get use to being around ministers… as I wrote yesterday if must be hard to be around me at work. Maybe it’s hard for anyone to be around me anywhere. If I am anything like some of the people that I encounter I need to get a little introspective about this…   I am not trying to sound judgmental, but man have you ever been around a bunch of pastors under one roof. We don’t know how to act. We can’t figure out what to do, it’s kind of like putting two dogs in the same yard for the first time they have to find out who’s the dominate one. For pastors it is who can serve the other one first trying to get the other to begin to open up while they sit back and listen. I have always gotten hung up when I try to serve others by being quiet, don’t get me wrong being quiet is a good thing, but when you are being prideful and quiet others know it and it makes them uncomfortable. God has taught me that you can be a humble servant by talking. Or, as I heard on Fresh Prince of Bel Air today, “I’m not “not talking” I’m just not talking.” At this point in my ministry I know more of what I don’t want to become more than what I do want.

Well all jokes and confusing remarks aside, the only real escape from being annoying and prideful is being transformed by the grace of God, acknowledging my mistakes and asking for forgiveness and new mercy.

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