A stone which the builders rejected
Has become the chief cornerstone.
This came about from the Lord;
It is marvelous in our eyes.
As children, we find great fitment and companionship with other kids, with our teachers, and with the schools we attend. We find great comfort in being accepted and having a social environment to fit in to. Yet, as we mature we no longer fit into those places and become independent. In other words, we grow up. Hopefully reaching a level of maturity that enables us to nurture others and help them grow to maturity.
As young Christians, we also find great companionship in certain places among certain peoples. There is a grace given and people entrusted to help others find Christ and His Kingdom. And as we mature into G-d’s Kingdom and become surrendered to Him and His will the comfort of fitting into those grace-filled places diminishes. We grow up and He makes us His own. To quote Jesus in the Gospel of Mark and The Song of Solomon “Come away with me.” He makes us into a people whose home is not here. Into people who do not fit in here. Peculiar people, longing for their heavenly home.
So as you have surrendered to Christ and look back on the days when you were young in Him, do not look back with disdain OR with a longing to return. The grace for that is likely gone. Now is the time to look ahead. To look to the person of Christ who is now your home. He is your comfort. He is where you fit in. And when you find others who walk on the same journey they will help you know that THIS is the right path. To companion the Holy Trinity and those who have been marked by them.
Quit fighting to try and return to the places you once were comforted by. YOU are not that same person any longer. “Know that the Lord has set apart the godly person for Himself.” – Psalm 4:3