I understand why you might have disdain for God.
I assure you, He has no disdain for you.
Talk in His direction. Experiment. He’s closer than you think.
When I was younger in the Lord I worked for a science museum, it was a great job to interact with a lot of people, I loved it. I remember meeting a volunteer there who was an older man. He was possibly in his mid sixties with a well worn wrinkled face, he was lean with the mentality of a military man and the gentleness of a seasoned Christian. The staff really loved him as he was easy to deal with and accomplished a ton, especially for just a volunteer.
One day God gave me a simple prophetic word for him, seeing that he was seemingly a weathered Christian, I approached him andbegan sharing with him. He responded with words that have echoed through my life ever since. He said “I have enough trouble in my life without God. I don’t need anymore trouble.” Come to find out my friend was a son of a Baptist minister, and although he had experiences that regenerated certain facets of his personality he was far from walking with God.
How He Loves Us ~John Mark McMillian Click on Link for Video.