One baffling fact I’ve discovered…

When I say,

“Lord God, I give you my whole heart!, take every bit of it.”

I lie.

In reality, part of me is asking God to do a real deep work,

which is great and should be commended.

But, another part of me is saying

“Yeah God, I said that, but what I meant was

you can only have this much of me.”

This comforts and disturbs me.

b/c He is so gentle not to take my prayers so seriously

that it supersedes my true desires

that might cripple me.

But it also speaks of how much I truly need His grace.

“God have mercy on me, a sinner!”