Sorry, I’ve not posted much lately. But as most of you know I’m now a dad. Which is a big deal. Much bigger than I had expected. And I mean that in the best of ways.
I wanted to take a few minutes and update you as to a few things that are going on.
Becoming Dad has been amazing. I never knew I could love someone so much. A friend put it this way, “It’s like seeing your heart walking outside your body.” That pretty much describes my experience. It was so good that when I initially got home from the hospital God began reminding me that I could not allow my daughter to be an idol in my life. It was a little awkward as I was unaware of that kind of seriousness. But as I have been living in the situation for a few weeks now I see the wisdom. From what I understand, my responsibility to lay down my life for my wife and family enables God’s strength and wisdom to be poured into our family. If I choose to place too much emphasis on my daughter, wife, or even myself I become a hinderance to the strength of God working in my family.
So I’ve been working through that and continuing to Shepard those who God has put in my life. Which is such a joy to me. It’s actually been so very good lately to walk in a more contented state so that my care and guidance for others is much more settled. In somewhat of a bold way I’ve laid down any excess ambition. I place my energy and strength into what’s in front of me each day.
Speaking of ambition, I’m finally working on what will be a final draft of my first book. It will be short, simple, edgy, and personable. In a round about way it will be a guide of sorts for those of us who have been disillusioned with the church and the God who the church portrays. It’s about how to walk with Jesus and also walk with the church. It’s very simple, foundational, and yet I’m sure it will put me at odds with some other believers. I know what I perceive to be truth and I’m willing to be rejected for that. I can’t not publish it. My marching orders are from the one who has the power to cast me into hades.
In all honesty as I’m preparing to have a book release party and put together the graphic design for the cover of the book, as well as get some hard copies in print I couldn’t be more excited. As I re-read it the other day I was reminded of the importance of the truths that lie inside and I was blessed by it. I can’t wait for the truths to get unleashed into the hands of those who will use it to unlock their chains.
I’m not sure what lies in my future these days. As my brother has passed and my daughter has been born my whole life seems surreal. It’s as if I’m living extra years that we’re not initially allotted to me. We have some issues here and there, but for the most part God has equipped Theresa and I with such great tools to navigate many possible futures. There is great gain in contentment and Godliness.
We’ve boiled down our community/spiritual family/church meetings into some very primal elements. We meet and care for one another. We talk about our real lives. We pray for one another, cry over one another. We allow God to meet with us and let Him have his way. There is no excess ambition to push us to become something greater. No building fund. No t-shirts to advertise our meeting. We’re just being The Church, loving God and loving one another. And somehow that has been more effective at actually engaging the depths of our being than having some fancy high dollar- high investment production. It’s a great feeling to let God be God in our lives. It IS a challenge to live a life laid down, but as a result all parts of our lives are infused by God Himself. What a profound Gospel we are clothed in!
My wife is as content as I have ever seen her. Her smile has grown in the past 4 weeks, she is as beautiful as ever. And she has grace for me and my me-ness.
I hope to get back to writing on here soon. There just has been no headroom as things have been so transitional. Thanks for being patient with me. May the Lord continue to reveal Himself to you as you allow Him to.