Hello all, when writing for this Blog I try to be as out of the way as possible for many reasons. One being that I don’t really matter in the big scheme of God’s eternal plan and two, exposing myself to the entire internet world might not be the smartest idea. But since information like the style of tattoo I have on my chest is being preached from the pulpit I guess exposing my heart here can’t do much harm (Mad Love J-Mart).
Most recently I have been struggling with the idea of getting a handgun for protection. It seems that most Christians stand on one side of this issue or the other both of which I am not here to condemn, but you are reading my blog so you can expect to get my opinion and a little revelation I hope.
So after contemplating the fact that I have a family with small children in my house (not my kids, my sister’s); I have had the idea of getting a gun swimming in and out of my heart. Not that I would want or need one to protect myself, but to protect those who I feel responsible for. So I have wrestled and wrestled, I have asked for advice from folks around me who I respect and came back with even more reasons to stay right on the middle of the fence. Something in my heart was fearful that if I got a gun I would be under the influence of a spirit that I would not have control of. When I was younger (and not in the faith) I carried a gun with a gutsy paranoia and an attitude that if I could not win in a fight I would just shoot anyone who opposed me. This kind of attitude is all I have ever had towards guns and my association with them has always been that way. Since you’re reading my Blog I would hope you would have an understanding of the person God has transformed me into, and you probably understand why I would be hesitant to get a gun again.
About a month ago, I filled had out my paperwork for my handgun license and received the acceptance letter. Since then I have been kind of searching for a word from God on whether or not to go and pick it up the license, then…..
Friday morning the 16th I took the day off for work to get ready to go to the Revonare conference and decided to have my weekly Sabbath with God. As I was reading the Word the Lord led me to 2nd Samuel chapter 19. The Lord has been leading me to this chapter for the past couple of years over and over again more times than I can count. It’s amazing how much I have studied this small passage of scripture. I can tell you all kinds of crazy facts about the characters mentioned. Like Mephibosheth one of my favorite characters of the Old Testament. Mephibosheth was the son of Jonathan that was paralyzed from the waist down. David loved Jonathan so much that Mephibosheth lived with David and ate at his table until his dieing day. Do you know how Mephibosheth became “lame in his feet”? His Dad’s maidservant dropped him on the ground when she heard the news that Saul had fallen on his sword and Jonathan was killed on the same day. Crazy huh?
So the beginning of the 19th chapter documents David wailing for his son Absalom. Absalom had started a rebellion against his father in which David chose to flee from Absalom. David sent out his troops to “deal gently with Absalom.” and end the rebellion. The troops went out and pursued the opposing army, many men died and Absalom while riding through the woods got his hair caught in a tree. The men of David saw Absalom and Joab, one the leaders of the army, decided to kill him and bury him under stones.
David gets the news and begins to wail for his son, “Oh my son Absalom, my son, my son Absalom! Would I have died instead of you, O Absalom, my son my son!” (Can you hear the grief and love)? The army of David hears of this mourning and come back to the city in shame. Joab rebukes Him for the lack of encouragement for his men who fought for him; And David begins his return to the city of Jerusalem.
David sends word to those who were opposed to him saying “Are you not flesh of my flesh and bone of my bone?” Foes who were guilty of rebellion and who did not support David during the rebellion come to meet him on His way back to Jerusalem and he pardons them and restores them back to there rightful position.
Like I mentioned earlier, I have read this story more than any other passage of scripture in the Old Testament but I never heard from the Lord like I did Friday. The Lord revealed his great mercy and love for me and even for those who rebel against Him. David fled from his opposition and had great mercy in his heart even when it meant that His life was at stake. He mourned almost to the point of losing the favor of his entire army when Absalom died. Those who were guilty of rebellion against the throne could of been rightfully killed, but David had great mercy and let them live.
This message from the Lord has overwhelmed me with the beauty of God’s love. It has led me to pray prayers that I never knew how to pray. I have been praying for the Love of the Father; to have his great love and mercy for those around me. How could a son of God that has direct access to this kind of love and mercy ever think about being aggressive towards anyone else. When you can recognize the greatness of God’s love toward us it frees us to love others with a love that is comparable.
The way of peace and the cross breaks the injustice of violence. There is no other way for me to see it. It has been etched into my heart.
So I would like to thank Sheriff Daniel E. Bailey for permission to have a handgun but I have been instructed by the one and only Authority and He has shown me a better way; The way of the cross, The way of Love, The way of self-sacrifice…NOT SELF DEFENSE.